THINGS MORE HEAVILY REGULATED THAN BUYING A GUN IN THE UNITED STATES

Having a fucking bake sale

Building a fucking shed in your own backyard

Pumping fucking gas

Getting a fucking vasectomy

Owning a fucking car

Driving someone else’s fucking car

Riding in a fucking car

Disposing of fucking batteries

Cutting fucking hair for a living

Having a controlled bonfire on your own fucking property

Owning a fucking dog

Walking a fucking dog

Selling a fucking mattress

Watching a fucking DVD

Holding any sort of public fucking performance

Importing foreign fucking cheese

Changing your last fucking name to your spouse’s

Buying fucking fireworks

Riding a fucking bicycle

Having a fucking swimming pool

Copying and distributing copyrighted fucking material

Using a fucking skateboard

Buying unpasteurized fucking milk

Recycling